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Приятного аппетита
The cafe is almost empty. A customer tries in vain to choose a meal to his liking. The barmaid and two waitresses are discussing a recent radio program in which a retired waiter talks about the plight of his colleagues in the old days. The customer is nervous: borscht is impossible to eat, crayfish is already peckless, milk is sour, beer is warm.... The disappointed customer, leaving, says that he was the one who spoke on the radio. The waitresses apologize: they thought it was an ordinary customer, but now they will serve him in no time. The man refuses and in a peculiar way - by verse and personal example - gives a lesson in cultural service.
1961
Toot Sweet!
Ham is interested in a girl named Marie and wants to impress her. First he buys a car and then he takes her out to a swanky nightclub. During the course of this disastrous date Ham realizes that Marie isn't the nice girl he thought she was: she only went out with him to make her real boyfriend jealous. The boyfriend is a dancer at the club, and when she sees him kissing his dance partner she becomes enraged and smashes up the place, while poor Ham is stuck with the bill.
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Honest Injun
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Hank Rouser, "Big Noise Hank," as a daring stranger had called him, was mad clear through. Julius Jones had faithfully promised to return that $500 after thirty days, and now it was long past due, and not even a line from Mr. Jones. So after a little friendly persuasion, in which Hank's six-shooter was brought into prominence, the bar was effectively cleared of its patrons, despite the protests of the barkeeper, and the bully sat down to dispatch a few terse sentences to his tardy friend, upon the receipt of which, Julius, with the aid of Caleb, his old family servant, quickly packed his traveling bag and started on a little journey, which he wrote to H. Rouser, would surely keep him away several months. (Moving Picture World)
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